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Amandalyn Morighan performs at PoleCon 2023

They Were Just “Roommates”! A Guide to Finding the Perfect Pole Event Roomie

You did it. You took the plunge and registered for the competition you’ve been dreaming about for months. Maybe you submitted an audition tape and got accepted to a showcase. Your name is officially on the set list, and this event is happening—ready or not, here you come.

Wait…

Is the room HOW MUCH?

That’s just for the night?!

OMG THAT’S THE COST FOR THE WEEKEND!?

Looks like it’s time to revisit your slumber party and college dorm days, because you, friend, are getting a roommate. It’s probably been a while since you’ve had to deal with someone stumbling into your bedroom at 2 AM or blow-drying their hair at sunrise before early-morning classes. You’re grown now. Even if you live in New York City with roommates to help afford rent, at least you have your own room. So how does one handle sharing a room again? It might sound fun, but are you ready to use the bathroom with someone’s bed just outside the door? Are you comfortable being seen in full night mode—bonnet and facemask included—by the person you take Pole Technique with on Mondays?

Take a deep breath. Here are some guides on finding the right co-dweller for your pole event adventure.

Key Factors When Choosing a Roommate

Temperature Compatibility

This may seem trivial, but everyone has specific preferences that help them sleep. For example, I don’t mind a warm room during the day, but when it’s time to sleep, I need the temperature to drop to Green Bay, WI in February. If I get hot while sleeping, I’m miserable and restless, resulting in a zombie apocalypse the next morning. My best friend, whom I trust with my life, will never share a room with me because she’s comfortable sleeping in a long-sleeved pajama set, under the covers, in August in Atlanta—with no air conditioner. Another reason we don’t share a room is that she’s clearly a serial killer, and I value my life! I’m best suited to roommates who prefer a cool room at night, while she thrives in “womb-temperature.” By not sharing a room, we both preserve our rest and friendship.

Schedule Logistics

Often, we don’t know which day or time we’re competing until about 30 days before the event, making it difficult to plan ahead. If you’re lucky enough to know your schedule early (shout out to PoleCon showcases that provide that information in advance), it’s often best to stay with someone whose schedule matches yours. For example, the Level 5 Pro Show for PSO competitions is always on Saturday night (except for Level 5 heels sometimes). When I was at a lower level, I could compete on either Saturday or Sunday. If I perform on Sunday morning, I’d prefer to room with someone also performing on Saturday. When everyone who went on Saturday is celebrating, I need to go to bed early for Pole Testing. It’s easier to share with someone who’s also in bed early, rather than someone who’s already in celebration mode. Otherwise, I’d get FOMO or anxiety. While this isn’t always possible, I’ve found it helpful.

Energy and Mental Compatibility

Traveling for a pole event can be mentally overwhelming—full of nerves, excitement, tiredness, and irritability. Emotions run high, so it’s important to find someone who complements you rather than amplifies your stress. Some people prefer a calm, quiet environment to manage their anxiety; others thrive on high energy, blasting music and dancing away nerves. Some are unfazed by the weekend and can nap before competing, while others are anxious from check-in to check-out. Decide what energy will best serve you. If your anxiety is heightened by another teammate’s anxiety, maybe someone more grounded would be a better fit. Are you looking to party all weekend, focus strictly on your events and workshops, or go to bed at a reasonable hour? Figure out who will balance your vibe. Personally, I need someone with high energy in the mornings and at night, but not someone who chills in the middle of the day—and will split a bottle of Tequila with me.

Chaos or Order

Hygiene isn’t just about being clean or messy. Some people thrive in chaos: makeup everywhere, clothes scattered (but they know where everything is), half-drunk water bottles all over. It’s their process, and it’s not for anyone else to judge. Others get to a hotel and immediately organize—hang clothes, arrange toiletries, everything in its place. Who are you, and what are you comfortable with? You don’t have to be one extreme or the other, but if clutter causes you anxiety, your fun, type B bestie might not be your hotel wife this weekend. If sharing with someone super organized makes you uncomfortable, maybe let your Virgo pole brother find someone who’ll color-coordinate their outfits.

Personal Preferences and Final Thoughts

We’re all just doing our best. Some people prefer not to share a room and do better when they can isolate themselves as needed. If you can afford your own room, there’s nothing wrong with protecting your peace, something I did for my first competitions. If you’re looking to save money or want a connection, a roommate can be great. The first time I shared a room with a friend, I was unsure, as I valued my own space. But it grounded me and kept me focused, instead of spiraling into “What If” land. We’d been friends for years, so we felt comfortable trying it, and it turned out to be perfect. They kept the energy positive and fun, helped us stay on time, and brought their dog as a bonus. For PoleCon, I’ll often post in the performer Facebook group to find someone to split room costs. Twice, I’ve roomed with strangers who ended up being delightful new pole connections. As with anything, listen to your gut and choose what’s best for you.

… and don’t be the first to fall asleep.

 

Colleen
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