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Keeping Pole Positive

The Pole Community is the Happiest Place on Earth

Let’s face it: we love the pole community because it’s so positive. How many times have you personally described pole as your “happy place?”

We love pole because it’s an environment that encourages us to continuously support each other and lift each other up. When you walk in to your first class and you’re immediately taught to love each other and yourself. There’s also the whole “gettin’ fit” aspect of the whole thing. You get a workout that’s fun and doesn’t usually feel like a workout. Before you know it, boom! Suns out, guns out! Lastly, this all ends up coming around to discovering our life long best friends and a family who will stand by our sides through and through. That all being said, one of the saddest things I noticed is that some of our sisters make pole the enemy.

When pole starts to become the enemy

We’ve all been there. You leave a class feeling empty, unsatisfied, and down on yourself. Here’s what you did: you forgot why you love it in the first place. There are so many reason pole starts to weigh heavy on our shoulders (and I’m not talking about your tight lats). Three of the most common reasons I’ve seen are:

  • You compared yourself to another pole sister – Yup. She got the trick before you did. You looked at her and immediately told yourself “I’ll never be like her. I’m not worthy of this.”
  • You cut your progress short – You are sitting there wondering “why can’t I do that yet?” Whoops! You forgot about all the other things you have yet to achieve!
  • You’re having body issues – This can range from feeling self conscious about your body weight, proportions, scars, disabilities, etc. As well as injuries that could be holding you back from certain activities.

Did you find yourself nodding your head “yes” to at least two of these? Because I can definitely say I’ve been there for ALL of these.

Fret not! I have some tips for keeping your pole experience almost always positive (because we can still have bad days :P)

Leave your problems at the door
We all come from different backgrounds and different day jobs. That being said, we all can have very bad days. Pole is supposed to be an easy release from those days, so don’t drag those issues in with you. Every time you walk in to take your class, take a deep breath, remind yourself why you are there, and leave that junk outside. Don’t even give it a second thought while you’re working out and getting your body wave on. The ONLY EXCEPTION to this rule is when you’re dancing it out at the end of class or on your own time. That is your opportunity to release all those negative emotions in to your dancing. Leave it on the dance floor (see my blog “Dance It Out”).

Find a pole buddy!
Often times, when we feel down on ourselves, our instinct is to isolate. I’ve learned from observation and experience that this often backfires. If you walk in to class with a feeling you might have a bad day, or if you’ve already been having a bad day, find a friend and ask them to share a pole with you. Once you’ve found your friend, make sure you communicate your mentality right away, “Hey, just so you know I’m having an off day and I’d really appreciate your support as a pole buddy today.” Knowing how our community works, they should be more than happy to help. Having a pole buddy is also amazing because you also get to help them! I find that when i’m down on myself, I like to encourage others. When I see that I’ve made a difference in someone else’s pole journey, I receive instant gratification in mine.

Remember that your path is your own
Just stop comparing yourself to others. It doesn’t do anyone any good to look at your friends and tell yourself that you aren’t good enough or never will be. There are so many different roads to take in pole and yours is your own. More than likely, you’re going to have those days where someone got a move before you. Don’t you forget that you have also been that person-I can promise you that. And if you are one of those who progresses slowly, embrace it. Those people often build the most strength of all. And they really get to spend time with a move and know that it will be tackled in a perfect way over time. Also, don’t forget that while you struggle with one thing and your friend gets it, she’s probably struggling with something that you can do with your eyes closed. We have to embrace each other’s journeys so that we can share our knowledge and love for the art.

Remember, if all else fails, maybe you need a mental break. There is nothing wrong with knowing your body and mind and taking some time off. Then you have the opportunity to come back refreshed and ready.

I have learned these are the key steps in finding that happy place in pole class. Try to consciously work them in to your pole journey. Hey, you can even work them in to your every day!  Remember why you pole and never forget that our community is always there and ready to lend a helping hand.

Leah Franklin
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