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Jax Spencer performs at the Creepy Showcase, PoleCon 2024

The Uncomfortable Truth at PoleCon

Another summer begins, and another PoleCon East comes to a close.  As we procrastinate, unpack, and edit our videos, and mourn the end of such an epic event, it’s also a good time for reflection and implementing what we have learned at what I consider a pole dance summer camp for grown-ups.   Being in my third year, going to PoleCon in the DMV area, I decided that the theme of the weekend would be “Challenging Comfort Zones”.  Trying new things that I would normally veto and shy away from.  From teaching a seminar to participating in workshops and a private, to Emceeing, to even choosing my hotel, here’s the breakdown of the uncomfortable truth.

From the jump, I knew this PoleCon was going to be different from the past two.  For one, I was not selected to perform; however, I was requested to Emcee the Creepy showcase.  I had never done this before, and would now be thrust onto a large stage and audience to keep things fun and not drop the ball.  I was excited and anxious at the same time.

What if I couldn’t think of anything to say and made the whole thing awkward and uncomfortable for everyone? 

What if a joke doesn’t land? 

What if I accidentally say something offensive? 

What if I tripped and knocked out the whole truss, poles, and all, and ended up with showcases for the rest of the weekend? (ok, that last one was a stretch.)

Despite the uncertainty, I knew the only true answer to the request was,

“Abso-frig’n-lutely”.

Another significant difference was that I wasn’t able to get a room in LIVE! Casino, so I had to settle for one of the other hotels across the street from the parking lot.  Only a 10-minute walk, but it’s not nearly as convenient as simply taking an elevator down.  Then came the email,

“Congratulations, you’re teaching a Free Seminar/Workshop at PoleCon!”

I took a shot in the dark months ago and submitted a proposal for a free writing workshop. What I wasn’t expecting was to be selected. Again, honored and the only true answer was “Abso-frig’n-lutely”.  However, in the back of my mind, I could hear RuPaul’s voice saying, “Good Luck, and don’t f##k it up”.  I’ve been writing for decades; I’ve run writing groups in Brooklyn, but I’ve never taught a seminar.  Never.  Welp, here goes nothing, right?

I had never participated in workshops at PoleCon, so as soon as they went live, I rushed to Wellness Living, like everyone else.  Let me just start off by saying, I hate floorwork.  Well, by hate, I mean uncomfortable.  I always have, even when I was a high school cheerleader.  I struggle remembering choreography, and I even walked out of a low-flow class halfway through because I was struggling and mortified.   Most of my routines look like I’m playing “the floor is lava”.   So naturally, I booked Crystal Belcher’s “Big Show Choreo” workshop and Heidi Cocker’s Intro to handstands workshop.  I figured, if anyone could pull a miracle out of me, it would be these two.

The final scoop of the uncomfortable sundae was booking a one-hour private session with Miss Amy “Sunshine” Bond.  I have been a fan of hers for years and have wanted to take her Kip’s and Fish flops workshop, but it always conflicted with scheduling.  We’d been DMing for quite some time, and finally, I took the plunge to do a one-on-one training session. Since she’s in California and I reside in New York, it just felt like the perfect opportunity.  I have always loved kips and fish flops, but they also scared me. With a full schedule and a few discount codes, PoleCon weekend was booked, and she is busy, honey.

Just like a first date, I went into this new approach to PoleCon with no expectations.  Show up, be myself, and do my best.  Honestly, that’s just the trick to life. Friday is when I had the two workshops, and I didn’t have much high hopes.  I expected to get intimidated and disoriented, and that would be the end of it.  What I wasn’t expecting was discovering just how capable my body and my mind can be.  I was able to hold a handstand for a mere 5 seconds of glory, which felt like 10 minutes.  In choreography class, I was surprised by how much I was able to retain and keep up with.  With both, I was able to take plenty of videos to look back on and continue my practice.  The takeaway was the sense of accomplishment and pride in myself for not just showing up and taking a chance but also succeeding beyond my personal best in both challenges, as well as the excellent opportunity to train with different instructors.  It’s always fun to see the world through someone else’s eyes and perspective.  You may catch something you hadn’t before or discover a way of learning that makes better sense for you.

Saturday was my marathon day.  It started with my private session with Amy, followed by teaching my writing seminar, and then going directly backstage to prepare for emceeing the Creepy showcase.  So, I packed up my grip, my laptop, and my demon horns, and made the trek across the parking lot.  Security at the casino didn’t know what to think of my black feathered wings hanging out of a Fresh Direct bag and chrome Pleasers strapped on my backpack.

The private with Amy was nothing short of amazing, and she was an absolute delight.  Not only did she awaken my kip, but she awakened it, ON A STAGE POLE.  I know workshops and privates can be pricey and add up quickly with the weekend pass and hotel, but if you can budget it, I strongly recommend it. Taking advantage of learning from some of the great is not only therapeutic but also feeds your soul and brings you back home refreshed and ready to train new and exciting things.

Teaching my seminar was probably the event I was most self-conscious about.

Would I be informative? Would I be interested? Would they hate me and find me a waste of their time?  What if my laptop doesn’t connect to the projector, and I’m unable to use my PowerPoint presentation?  What am I doing here!?

I tried to remind myself that it’s a free workshop, so no one is losing money, and it’s only 30 minutes long. I have never had an issue yapping for 30 minutes straight. As I took the microphone, things almost became a blur, and before I knew it, it was all over. How did it go?  Well, I can say that people took notes on their own, and I made them laugh.  No one yelled “boo” or walked out so I’d like to consider it a win.

The final boss was emceeing the Creepy showcase.  Again, my self-doubt crept in.

What if I don’t know what to say and stand there giving dead air?  What if I say too much and end up being offensive or controversial? (Who me? Never!) What if I fall on my face on stage?  What if I disappointed Jax and Colleen, who trusted me with this responsibility?  What if I get the order wrong and say the wrong bio and mispronounce a name?

I could have kept spiraling, but there came a point where I just had to take it on, as I do with anything in life, be myself, and do my best.  I got a little stuck at the beginning, but over time, I started to find my flow.  No tomatoes were thrown. I only screwed up one name (sorry, Susan!), but for the most part, I think I did an alright job. To my surprise, I received excellent feedback.  I hope to do it again or something similar soon!

So, my point is that you should shake it up a bit. Go for it. Say yes, whether it’s pole-related or beyond.  Take the Improv or creative writing class.  Try a new entrée you’ve been eyeing, but then stick with the safe option.  Take a different route home. BUY. THE. SHOES. Even if they aren’t practical, and you have nowhere to wear them. Trust me, you’ll find a place.  Try a new place with your new shoes!  Get awkward, stumble a little, flail and fall, and try again.  Being uncomfortable is how you discover new comforts.   None of us knows just how long we’ll be around, so you might as well do something that scares you once in a while, it may lead to a whole new you.

Buy. The. Shoes.

Casey Danzig
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