I know the story. You want to be about that fitness life 24/7, but you’re ashamed of something (everything) and are paralyzed by it. To hell with that — time for you to step into your badassery!
COACHES, these make great talking points with clients. Steal them!
Ignore the 5%
We have a tendency to assume everyone is worried about our perceived shortcomings — weight, age, gender, appearance,whatever. They must be saying, “I’d kill myself if I was as fat as her. . . GROSS, all these gay dudes are trying to take over the weights . . . God, there are just some things women shouldn’t do!”
You’re right. People do think these things; some will have the audacity to say them. What’s wrong about that scenario is what actually matters.
Let’s say your gym has 100 people. Because Jesus hates you that day, 5 people say some extra rude s*** to your face. You take their words to heart and run away from your health goals, but hang on — do you hear what the other 95 people are saying?
* Silence *
They aren’t saying anything. They’re too busy fantasizing about waffles to care about you. They don’t hate you, they hate the stairmaster. Those evil looks are because you aren’t a bag full of Five Guys fries (F*ing delicious ass fries . . .). Now, does it make any damn sense for the ignorant 5% to dictate 100% of your activities?
Ask for Help
Gym machines are on crack these days. Not only can they track your workout stats, but they can also guestimate your credit score, discover new dinosaur bones and bake a fresh loaf of sourdough. It would be damn near impossible for a newbie not to be confused; where there’s confusion, there’s embarrassment.
Lucky for you, every gym has a great solution — a personal trainer. Before you start bitching and moaning about how much they cost, hear me out. Option one: you bust your ass alone for months in all the wrong ways and seriously damage your body–or–Option two: you take two or three sessions with someone who actually knows what a tricep is. They’ll also teach you how to use equipment properly and efficiently. You’ll be amazed how much a lil’ bit of knowledge can drive your confidence!
Hell, many gyms even offer a session or two for free with your membership. But even if they don’t, $200 on a trainer vs. $20,000 in corrective surgery? C’mon son. Hire a damn pro.
Get a Squad
There are three essential players you need in your squad: your trainer, the cheat meal friend, and the “you’ll always be hot” cheerleader. Since we already know trainers are awesome, let’s skip to cheat meal friend (CMF). Your CMF is your homie who drags themselves to class with you and brings an extra hair tie; they’re also next to you in line at Chipotle after class. You two don’t do it all the time, but when the spirit calls you, they don’t throw shade. Extra guac & cheese? Only to balance out the extra carnitas. Would your trainer approve of it? Nope, and that’s why you don’t have cheat meals with your trainer.
I love you, CMFs (Kat, Ellie and Yaroo — let’s do that Filipino place again soon).
Just as important as CMF is the “you’ll always be hot” cheerleader. My boyfriend understands that even Divas aren’t confident 24/7, so he’ll randomly snatch a big handful of ass to remind me that he loves that thaaang just as it is. Until I meet said boyfriend, I throw on some Pleasers and marvel at my quads in the mirror.
Alright peeps, that’s all I’ve got for now. Above everything, never forget the value that YOU, right now, for real, no lie, are worthy of being an athlete.
One last thing — before your mindless web surfing, be sure to leave some words of encouragement for your fellow gym rats. You could always use some extra sweat karma.